Male and Female Prospective of Sex

As a female, I’ve found that most fellow young women suffer from the same questions universally. Does he notice my new hairstyle? Does he actually believe I enjoy watching him play video games? He didn’t text back yet; oh, I can’t double text him because then will I seem like a stalker? Truth is, guys probably won’t notice you switched from very berry lipstick to passion red. They don’t really care about small details like that; they just want you to look good (harsh, but c’mon it’s true). You can’t jump down their throat if they don’t notice your new shirt from Express right away; it just isn’t on their mind. When it comes to sex, however, guys do notice the small things and open up about the little pet peeves they find with their partners. 

My girlfriends and I are well aware of our own pet peeves while hooking up, so it would be very foolish to think guys are perfectly content while getting it on. For example, I know I have heard girls complain about guys resisting to being in control. Girls like feeling like their man is taking charge. This goes for both parties, if you lie there like a limp and expect your partner to do all the work, he/she is going to get annoyed. From a counter perspective, being too aggressive in the bedroom is a big no-no; little tip, if you are biting someone’s lip to the point of drawing blood, you may want to take it as a sign to tone it down while making out, Edward Cullen. Try to find a happy medium of control and tenderness. These are only a few of the things my girlfriends and I discuss after being intimate with someone. Subjects ranging from the funny things guys will say during hook ups to how long it lasted to that always-awkward goodbye in the morning pop up in girl talk. I know what things bother girls; I am one, for God’s sake! But I was also interested to know what guys had to say about it all. 

After hanging out with my group of guy friends for the past year and a half, I have discovered that the same things typically bother both guys and girls. However, from the male perspective I found that they all know one thing; that men love oral sex and those who say they don’t are liars. This is where guys and girls differ; while guys are almost always down to go down, girls can often be reluctant. Girls either enjoy it or they are extremely turned off by it, which makes it hard to come to a compromise in the bedroom. One of the major reasons a girl may be hesitant is because she is afraid she might smell. “My girlfriend loves oral sex to the point that she would beg for it. But one night, as I started to head south, she pushed me away and said she didn’t feel like it,” says Steve, 24, of Cosmopolitan Magazine. “Since she usually can’t get enough of it, I kept asking her why not, until she finally admitted that she was afraid she smelled.” I said, ‘That’s it?’ and immediately found a way to prove to her that her scent was not only perfectly fine, it was perfectly sexy. If this is all you are worried about ladies, just wash up a bit for your own content. Most guys have commented that they don’t mind the distinct scent and several have said they even like it! 

Girls are constantly worrying about their appearance and during sex we feel even more vulnerable. A common thing guys told me when asking about pet peeves is a girl’s hesitance to take off her bra. Girls tend to think their boobs look better and bigger in a lacy push-up bra; truth is guys would favor you go all natural rather than covering up the goods. The only thing guys like more than looking at boobs is touching them, so they prefer that you ditch the bra. 

Sex is complicated. As it is so accurately put from the movie The Holiday, starring Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet, “Sex makes everything more complicated. Even not having it, because the not having it... makes it complicated.” Why is this? Is it because we let our emotions get in the way? Or is it because we all fear that we are most vulnerable while being intimate? From what I’ve found, both girls and guys feel intimidated during sex, so the main key is to stop over thinking and worrying about everything. Just try to stay in sync with your partner and learn what he or she likes and you’ll find that these sexual hurdles will become a lot less complicated.